There is a fine line between letting styles, ideas, philosophies, and even personalities inspire and letting them take over everything that you are. It is so easy to let yourself become who and what you see in the world rather than adding those things to who you are to make you a more than you would otherwise be.
You find someone you respect or envy and if you aren’t careful, you are copying everything about them to be more like them or gain their acceptance. You hear a new philosophy you agree with and it comes to define you completely rather than being integrated into what you already believe. When you let this happen, at some point you find you no longer remember even the simplest of things like your own style, let alone who you are or what you wanted to accomplish.
Many writers of various sorts have opined on this, the idea of loosing self. It’s one thing to hear it, it’s something entirely different to wake up one day and realize it is you they are talking about.
This is nothing new but I’m re-observing it yet again. Changing habits, no matter how much you want to, is like moving mountains. It is so easy to rationalize the old habits.
Now to try doing a bit of writing.
It is unfortunate that so often it takes a terrible tragedy to wake us up and remind us of who we are. To remember lost dreams and ambitions. So much time lost just drifting through life without any real direction.
May you find peace Alexander Gioeli. You were a good friend and inspiration to all of us.